Since we deal with divorce and child custody cases throughout Arizona, we see several domestic disputes. In turn, we have seen very successful co-parenting plans and solutions. Our AZ Family Law Lawyers will pass along these solutions and give recommendations on how to be the best co-parent. Additionally, we are available for free phone consultations at (480) 263-1699.
As hard as it can be, you should never let your relationship status with the parent of your child get in the way of your child’s relationship with that parent. Whether or not you were married to the parent of your child, the process of getting custody orders in place may have been tiring and full of conflict. You should do your best to follow these tips for the sake of both your child and yourself.
Even if you are co-parenting with as minimal communication as possible, it will be difficult to avoid seeing the other parent during pickups and drop offs. Your ex may use these as an opportunity to get under your skin. For your child’s sake, you should always be conscious of taking the high road. Your child will appreciate it when they’re older if you bite your tongue whenever you are required to interact with your child’s other parent.
If your ex is constantly violating the child custody orders, it won’t do much good to go in front of the judge and say that verbatim. Keep notes, screenshots, and any other evidence when your ex violates the custody orders in place. These should be kept in a secure place, and sent to your Mesa Family Law attorney as well. They can later be used as evidence should you request a custody modification.
Child custody is generally divided into parenting time and legal decision making. Legal decision making extends to educational, medical, and other choices in the child’s life. Accordingly, your child’s school, doctor, and other care providers will need to be up to date on each parent’s legal rights and responsibilities for the child.
Even if the message being delivered is neutral or positive, the child should never be treated as an intermediary between the parents. Your child could still be experiencing trauma from this type of behavior, even if your child doesn’t exhibit any outward signs of distress. If you absolutely can’t speak to your child’s other parent directly, your Glendale Family Law attorney would be a better messenger for messages to your ex.
While it may help you to vent to friends or family members about your child custody issues, it may come back and bite you if you post about these issues on social media. Even if you delete these posts, they may be screenshotted by your followers, or all records of your posts may be impossible to delete. Your ex can easily print out these screenshots and bring them before the judge during your next custody hearing. Your posts could be found to constitute parental alienation. If your parental alienation is severe enough, the judge may modify the custody orders.
We all know what happened to the little boy who cried wolf. Family law judges are busy and don’t want to hear about every single time your ex is a few minutes late for pickups and drop offs. Bringing the issue to court the first time will damage your credibility, and can be expensive. You should keep track of these occurrences, and eventually bring this to your attorney. Your Tempe Family Law attorney will help you decide when it is appropriate to seek the court’s intervention.
There are several co-parenting apps and websites available that offer shared calendars, secured messaging, recorded calls, and other services that foster respectful communications between co-parents. Shared calendars can also prevent scheduling conflicts, and give each parent a sense of security when the child is at the other household. They will help you stay on the topic of effectively parenting your child, rather than hashing out old drama from your romantic past.
You are free to keep different rules in your household than the other parent, but sometimes it makes sense to agree on some issues in advance. For example, if the child’s bedtime is 7PM at one household and 9PM at the other, the child may struggle going to bed at night and waking up in the morning. Compromising on a bedtime of 8PM will avoid these kinds of problems while transitioning between households.
There are several group variations of therapy that may prove useful to you. One on one therapy may help you better regulate your emotions and move on from your relationship with your child’s other parent. Family therapy with your child may assist you in communicating about all of the recent changes and issues that have occurred with your child. In some situations, it may even be appropriate for the parents to attend therapy together. A trained professional may be able to help mediate disputes that you and the other parent are unable to resolve on your own.
Of course, co-parenting isn’t as easy as following lists of tips from the internet. Each of these steps requires a great deal of effort and patience, and it’s natural that you may slip up every once in a while. However, an experienced Phoenix family law attorney may help you remain your best self throughout a custody dispute. When the stress of court deadlines, drafting legal documents, and communicating with the other party’s attorney is taken off your shoulders, you can focus on being the best parent, and co-parent, for your child that you can be. To learn more about how our Arizona family lawyers can assist you through a custody dispute, call (480) 263-1699 to schedule your free consultation today.
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